Don’t get me wrong: Humans are amazing at adaptations. It’s in our DNA. Our kick-ass ability to adapt is how we have survived all this time. But most of us long for something more. In fact, many of us long to move beyond adaptation to transformation. We dream big, create hard, and push further to the point of magical and miraculous. We have been known to do anything to “make it happen.” And I’m here to say that there is one step, one obvious but crucial and enormous step, that we must take to realize any transformation in its most authentic, honorable form.
So let me ask you a few questions...
What is it you are longing for?
An awesome partner or a better relationship with the one you have? More money? A meaningful career? A better job to tide you over until you step into your calling? A cleaner home? A peaceful home? A happy marriage? Happy kids? A thinner you? A better version of you?
Where are you looking?
On the internet? In books? To friends for advice? On social media for how others got what you want? To family for support, school for enlightenment or work for validation?
And how are you investing?
Sleepless nights spent worrying, strategizing, searching the internet, binge watching Netflix to forget how far you are from where you want to be or just binging in general...food, shopping, you get the picture. Memberships to online dating, networking clubs, and gyms? Spending money you don’t have on more stuff to make yourself feel better, convince other people you are worth their time, and give you comfort that ends as soon as you get the bill?
Well I’m here to tell you to stop. Dead in your tracks. Why? Because until you have this one piece of the puzzle in place, you won’t get anywhere. An.E.where! You won’t have a healthy relationship or more money or a satisfying career or better job. Without this, you won’t have a clean house, or happy marriage or happy kids.
This one thing is the foundation for everything else. This one game-changer, well, is just that - a complete game changer. It will rock your world and unlock every other area in your life. You don’t have to search for it, spend thousands of dollars for it, or have experience with it. You just have to open your heart and be willing to try it.
This miraculous step will take you on a journey that is never-ending and all-encompassing. It will enable you to do things you never thought possible. Things you’ve only dreamt of. It will allow you to attract the healthiest relationships, to give AND take with respect and dignity, to work in a way that meaningfully impacts society, and to move through this world with dignity and passion.
What is THE ONE STEP that promises to all this?
Well it depends on what you think will change your life. For some it’s a college degree. According to the College Board, the average cost of tuition and fees for the 2017–2018 school year was $34,740 at private colleges, $9,970 for state residents at public colleges, and $25,620 for out-of-state residents attending public universities.
Maybe your jam is plastic surgery. One plastic surgery center reports that the average cost of a facelift is over $12,000. “Mommy makeovers” - plastic surgery for boobs and belly - is around $20,000. Because giving life to another human being isn’t rad enough; you also must LOOK like you never did it.
I mean the list of how you could pursue and pay for “transformation”, or at least a fantastic distraction, is endless. But I’m telling you for certain that without this ONE STEP, the rest of it won’t matter in the least. Nothing will make you happy, fulfilled, and content no matter what happens more than this ONE STEP. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say, without it, everything else is a huge waste. Why? Because WITH this ONE STEP you can face anything, create anything, achieve anything, and finally be the best version of yourself. You know, the one kicking ass and taking names. The one who is facing the fear and doing it anyway. The one who is finally living the dream and teaching others to do the same.
“Show me! Show me! What’s the one freakin’ step, lady?!?”
Okay. Are you ready for this? Here it is:
“First, love.”
“Wait. What?? I hung in there with you and real all that for...love?!?” Duh. DUH LADY! Now I’m pissed. Is that it??!!??”
Yep. Now simmer and let me explain how it worked for me…
I’m a survivor of suicide loss, rape, and abuse, sometimes at my own hand. I’ve numbed myself with hurtful choices while trying to not implode. Trauma is like that.
As a single mom of six kids, I’d cringe when my kids needed new underwear and money for a field trip. I was tapped out in every way and looking for love, not quite “in all the wrong places” but in ways that were all wrong for me. I wanted someone to love me and help me and okay, maybe save me. I felt hopeless and helpless even though I have mad ninja skills in many areas. Until I made a life changing decision.
“First, love,” I told my broken, despairing heart. I bought myself a commitment ring as a reminder to myself and then I set about learning how to love me “As Is” but so much so that I was no longer willing to leave myself in that condition. I took healthy risks on me, my business, and the future. I felt like I was stepping out of the boat and being asked to walk on water, but I did the work and discovered…
I AM LOVABLE.
I AM BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT.
I DESERVE TO BE HERE.
IN FACT, THE WORLD WOULD NOT BE THE SAME WITHOUT ME IN IT.
My story, once about surviving, is now about thriving. In love and relationships. In health and wealth. In spirit, mind and body.
I know; I used to scratch my head and scream "How is that possible?!?" and “Why is it happening for everyone but me?!?” when people shared stories of transformation. But when I returned to myself, the upside down became right side up and I finally got it.
“First, love” is about deciding to be the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. In every way. “First, love” is about turning off the inner critic - mine is called Cruella - who is full of self-doubt and self-loathing and turning up the truth of you:
YOU BELONG HERE.
NO ONE CAN DO YOU LIKE YOU!
YOU MATTER.
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AS IS.
YOU ARE WORTH LOVING.
THE WORLD WOULD NOT BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU IN IT!
“First, love” is about giving yourself permission to envision, design and step into your purpose and passion. I'm telling you right now, there's a path that you are meant to follow and though you may not know how to find it, or where it leads, it is ready to reveal itself. And I want to help you get past whatever is holding you back and get on with your life.
HOW TO WORK WITH ME
In person or virtually, you will be guided through a design and building process that will allow you to:
Love yourself enough to become the person you are meant to be
Envision - and I mean with ALL your senses - the life you long for
Clear away what is standing in the way
Lay the foundation for the work to come
Build a framework that makes room for every piece of you
Protect what you’ve designed
Foster the inward and outward vision you have for yourself and your place in this big, beautiful world
Create and honor your own boundaries and let go of co-dependent, toxic behavior
LET’S DO IT
#1. SCHEDULE A FREE CALL so we can get to know each other and discuss the SIX AREAS THAT NEED YOUR ATTENTION if you are going to live a purposeful, passionate life that you deserve and the world needs!
#2A. Choose a coaching package that works for you. AND/OR…
#2B. Get some friends together for a retreat or workshop.
Can you imagine: Making room for yourself. Finding your voice. Putting yourself back on your priority list. Honoring your own life and your dreams as much as you do others.
Give yourself permission to tell your story and reclaim your voice and power by reconnecting to the part of you that was left behind. You have right to be loved. You deserve a voice. Your story needs to be told and I’d love to hear it.